I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am available for nakedness
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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