Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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