I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just invented taco cereal.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
