He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
