I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He did a backflip because drugs
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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