It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
