So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So many bounce houses so little time
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
