Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
