I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had sex on a roof
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
