glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
