Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
