Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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