My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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