yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
