he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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