her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
