Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
