You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
