no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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