yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
