Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
