i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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