I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
