sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
