I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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