my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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