ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
