So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
