You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
