i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
