So drunk its hurt
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
