Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
