He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
