youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
