I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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