Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
