Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
3 2 1 whiskey
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
