it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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