Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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