oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
