I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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