Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
