drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
