It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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