Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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