He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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