Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
