I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
