Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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