Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
