We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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